30 Things I’ve learned before turning 30

In only two days it will be my 30th birthday. Over the past years, just as anyone else I have learned a lot which made me a stronger person. These I wanted to share with you.

Only you can make you happy
No one else other than yourself can make you happy. Don’t think that a partner or a certain lifestyle will make you happy if you’re not already happy by yourself.

Do not care about other people’s opinion
People will always have an opinion or a judgement about you. You can’t please everyone and you don’t have to. As long as you can look at yourself as an honest man or woman, no one’s opinion matter.

Laugh as many times as you can. Laughter is the best medicine. And laughing makes people beautiful. You can never laugh enough!

Don’t expect to get from people what you give to people
At some moments in my life I have felt like I have been there for people but when I needed them they weren’t to be found. Not everyone will be there for you in times of need. Maybe not on purpose, but they just won’t be there for all kinds of reasons. Be the friend, sister, cousin for your beloved ones but do not expect anything in return. Give without expectations.

Racism is real
Unfortunately. But real. I am not talking about comments I read on Facebook news articles or reactions on celebrities. I am talking about real life. There was a time when I was closing my eyes for this and thinking it wasn’t happening to me. I am not closing my eyes for this ever again and I will stand up to it as long as I can. Because the most beautiful thing I wear is my brown skin.

‘I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.’

– Martin Luther King

Get rid of toxic people
Love yourself enough to remove toxic people from your life. I have ended relationships in benefit for my own health and happiness. One of The Best things I have ever done for myself. 
The first person comes to mind?
Get rid of ‘em.

Your time will come
Sometimes you want things sooo bad that you just can’t wait for them to happen or arrive for you. When it’s your time, it will happen. If it’s not happening for you, it isn’t your moment or maybe it will happen through another door. Don’t compare yourself to others. The grass ain’t greener on the other side.

Don’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet
Your mind is good at worrying about scenario’s that may or may not happen and make you crazy. If you continue worrying about something that might happen at some moment, you worry about it twice if it actually happens. Spare yourself.

Do what makes you happy
Nothing else is more important than this. Relationships, jobs, personal goals. If it’s not fulfilling your soul choose something that will. You always have a choice and it will not always be easy.

If you can’t say something nice, be quiet
This has given me more peace. And silence sometimes speaks louder than words. When people wonder why I don’t always response or don’t give my opinion. This is why. 

Enjoy the little things
For example, I love living in my hometown, The Hague. I love the feeling of the sun on my skin and I love playing my Soul Food playlist over and over again, enjoying the instrumentals in the songs. For example haha. Trying to enjoy these little things more.

All feelings are allowed
When people say: are you really crying over this? Upset about that?
Yes. And you and I are allowed to feel whatever we feel about certain things. Feelings must come out in order to give it peace in your mind.

What you reap, what you sow
In every way, good or bad. The law of attraction is real. Do good and good will come to you. Karma is real guys. 

Don’t take anything for granted
Enjoy your days. Make the most of your life. Love your family and friends. Take care of your health. Nothing is forever.

Take care of yourself
Not only by taking a massage or an indulging moment by taking a relaxing bath or enjoying your favorite chocolate. But also by the process of healing, meditation and good sleep and breathing. This can do so much for you. As I speak from my own experience.

Everything happens for a reason
At some moments you will forget. But when something greater happens or another door opens for you, you will see your reason. If something isn’t going to happen, I believe it wasn’t meant for me.
Easier said than done, I know.

Work hard, always
I have learned this from the best two parents. They have always worked hard to provide me in anything I needed and wanted (and they still do). They have teached me that hard work will pay off, and it does. Working hard fulfills me and that’s a lazy person talking! 🙂

Be grateful, always
Be grateful for the people who stand by you. Be grateful for your friends who say ‘text me when you get home’. Say thank you to people who help you. Be grateful for what you have and what is coming.

Let go
Getting to the point of actually letting go of toxic things or people can sometimes take time. A lot of time. But when you’ve finally arrived there, you allow peace to your body and mind. Which means you’re not hurting yourself anymore.

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them
I was surrounded by people who were treating their friends and family in a certain way of which I thought they wouldn’t do to me. But why wouldn’t they? They showed me who they really were. So if you think that your person (familymember, friend, whoever) won’t threat you as they do to others.. Think again.

Pick your battles
When I was a teenager I was worrying about things that don’t matter to me a long time anymore, just unimportant and meaningless teenager things. Now that I’m almost 30 years I have to choose which challenge I have to prioritize first, because there isn’t enough time or I don’t have enough energy to focus and worry about them all.
This really made me a stronger person. The very very unimportant things are forgotten in a moment and not worried about again.

Everyone is having their own struggles
Everyone is dealing with something at the moment. Another reason to be kind to one another.

Life is beautiful
Life is not only about going to work and pay your bills. I can imagine that sometimes it seems like it’s all there is. You have to make a beautiful life for yourself. Don’t wait for anyone to do it for you. Live your life and make sure you enjoy it.

Listen to your body
At my work in HR it is my job but it’ s also in my nature to support, take care of people and look after them. To see their qualities and put them in their powers.

I will not forget that one day one of the employees said: “You always take care of us, but do you take care of yourself as well since you been working so much?”. And not very long after this my mind and body were giving me signals and telling me to slow down. And I listened. You will know once the sign are there. Don’t ignore your body speaking to you.

Time will heal your wounds
Trust me. A couple of years ago I wouldn’t imagine that I would overcome the struggle I was having at that time. The struggles I am enduring now, I’m embracing. Because I know it’ll make me stronger and I know once they are over, I have grown. This goes for everything. Time will heal you.

Work to live
Remember to enjoy and make time to do things you love. I often hear myself say that I didn’t have the time to do this or that. Which actually is: I didn’t make the time for it or didn’t had the energy to do so, because I put 110% in my job that day or week. I love my job and I do my best everyday, but there is more than just work.

Don’t count on people
Because in the end all you have is you, and you have to put yourself to it. Ofcourse you can ask for help, but you have to make yourself move. Getting through struggles and achieving goals. Study for that exam and apply for that dreamjob! All the help and support you get from family and friends are extra.

Put yourself first
Helping others is something I really love to do. This made me forget at some points I have to take care of myself too.

Treasure your parents
Without them I wouldn’t have been here at the position I am in now. I wouldn’t been the person I am now. I would not have reached everything that I did if it weren’t for them. They are my everything. 

Sometimes people say that they envy me for what my parents do for me and the bond we have. This made me realize even more that having a good relationship with your parents is not something everyone has.

Thank you Mom and Dad, for everything and always standing by my side.

Trust in God
Whether you call it a Holy Ghost or ‘The Universe’. I really believe someone or something is guiding.

‘There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever.’

– Mahatma Gandhi

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